37 years old

37 years old

So here I am, 37 years old. How did that happen? Sometimes I feel like I am literally watching myself play house. I simply can’t believe that I am married with 3 kids. One time I asked my Auntie on her 60th birthday how did she feel and she replied ‘I feel like I’m still 21’. I know imagine this to be so true, as each year passes you get older and obviously more tired but your mind stays the same. One day I feel like I will look in the mirror and be an old lady without even noticing the years passing.

It’s been a strange old year. Firstly, I have suffered with anxiety for the first time ever. It was a just horrible experience. It made me weepy, paranoid and just overwhelmed with everything. I still feel it some days more than I care to admit. Just last week I had days were I felt terrible, I was run down, I couldn’t sleep and I was a crying mess. This week everything seems clearer again and I wonder how I let myself get so worked up. I’m not sure if this is something that I will always struggle with, I hope not, but if I do I need to try and remember it will pass.

This year I returned to work part time, my maternity days all finished (which makes me feel a little sad and relieved all at the same time). Although our weeks are more frantic than ever with lots of rushing and shouting, returning to work definitely does me good, allowing me to just to step away from it all for a couple of days and concentrate on something else, to chat to people and be able to give them my full attention and, well, to simply be Natalie for a few hours.

I struggled with friendships this year. I felt let down by people who I thought I could trust. Maybe they felt let down too. I feel like I have less patience with people and maybe expect too much. Being a good friend is something that is  important to me but maybe I have changed.Maybe I am too sensitive and take too much to heart. I am definitely trying to accept people for who they are, appreciate the good and not concentrate on the bad. I tell Meme stop worrying about what people think, but it’s hard isn’t it? I guess we all want to be liked and accepted, even at 37 years old. I think this will always be something I need to work on.

Despite the negatives of this past year, I do feel incredibly happy. I look at what I have, at what I have achieved and I feel very lucky. I want to fill this year with more adventures, more self care and more time with my husband watching our little family grow. Laughing, loving and planning. Let’s all drink to that!

9 thoughts on “37 years old

  1. This is a lovely post. I wrote a similar one a few months ago when I turned 40. It’s good to take time out to reflect on your life because it makes you grateful for what you have #ABloggingGoodTime

  2. On the anxiety, have you thought about seeing a herbalist? It is amazing what herbs can do for anxiety etc. My herbalist is like a magician and has fixed all sorts of things in me. Camomile tincture is supposed to be amazing for it. Worth a look and wishing you a belated happy 37th birthday! Thanks for linking up to #coolmuclub and have a lovely summer x

  3. From one 37 year old to another, I appreciate this post and all the things you acknowledge. I guess it’s a stage in life you have little time for time wasters, and life feels so precious.
    Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub

  4. I’m so sorry I completely missed this post in our post holiday busyness! Happy belated birthday!

    I’m so sorry you’ve struggled with anxiety this year – it’s a really strange one, as for me, I often find it comes from nowhere and has no real explanation. I’ve suffered on and off since I was little, but thankfully don’t seem to have been so bothered lately. I’m always here if you need someone to talk to.

    And it’s funny with friendships how you think you’re all grown up now and not so bothered, but then something happens to make you realise just how much you do still care after all. I’ve been the same this year, and it’s cemented the friendships I have and cherish – you being one of those!

    I’m so glad you’re rounding off the year feeling happy – wishing you a year full of happy adventures ahead.

  5. Happy belated birthday Mrs! As I’ve gotten older and had more children, I’ve realised that I have less patience for those who flit in and out of life. Those who want to be in our lives will be there when needed. Lets hope this is a more positive year for you!
    Thank you for sharing this with us at #TriumphantTales. I hope to see you back next week!

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