I remember last year when I went to Mijas with my family. There was about 12 of us all staying together in a villa. We had the best time as we always do but one night I always remember my brother in law saying to me ‘you’re like the scarlet pimpernel, you are always disappearing’ and I joked about having sneaky naps. However, he was right.
Each day in the midst of the chaos and fun I would find myself craving a little space, a little alone time. I would sneak off to my bedroom or find a quiet corner and read a book or just enjoy the silence. I was the same on my recent holiday to Madeira. Some days I just wanted to be on my own.
Meme seems to be very much the same, come the end of term she is desperately craving some time away from her school friends. She just needs a bit of space. In the past I have always struggled to understand it but now I get it.
There is obviously nothing wrong with this but I think the reason it seems so strange for me is because I have always been so sociable. I have always felt that I come alive with people and I always hated being alone. I have always had lots of friends, always had a boyfriend and I always enjoyed peoples company. I guess you would describe me as an extrovert. I loved the buzz of crowded places, I thrived on busy environments, I liked being out and about and a part of it all.
I am not sure when I changed, I think it was some point between having my children and being on maternity leave. I moved away from my family and friends and I guess, after spending lots of time on my own, I got used to and now enjoy it. I don’t need to see people every day.
I guess there are times I feel like I should make more effort or maybe I could make more effort with people. I see Mums in the school playground discussing a night out or I hear bloggers talking about what event they are attending and I ponder, should I try and be more like this, be a part of all this?
Yet I know it’s just not me anymore. I am happy doing my own thing on my own. I’m not saying I don’t have friends, I guess I just don’t have the urge to know everyone or be popular anymore. I am happy being on the outskirts doing my own thing.
Maybe its my age or maybe after having three (noisy) children I appreciate the silence more. Who knows, all I do know is that I’m a bit of a loner now and that’s ok.