Mummy and Alfie

Life after Maternity leave

So I am sitting in my favourite cafe drinking tea and writing this whilst my lovely boy has a settling in session in nursery. After 10 blissful months at home with my children my maternity leave is drawing to a end.

Needless to say I am feeling highly emotional about it all. Alfie is still is so small, he is starting nursery younger than my girls did (we had a little help from the grandparents with Meme and Harri) and I just feel so sad about it all.

It has been 9 months of living in a bubble, picking up the girls from school, enjoying the holidays together, watching my Harri start school and, most importantly, getting to know my beautiful little boy.

I know this is life, it is time to go back. As I say to my girls who moan about going to school every day – just get on with it. I am lucky enough to be able to work part time so I will still have a couple of days with my boy and, as a lot of people say to me, it may do me good. Having some time without the little ones, conversing with adults and obviously having a bit more money each month will be nice. Yet I just don’t feel ready – I’m not sure I ever will.

Maybe it is because I am not ready for the stress of getting everyone up ready and into school and me to work each morning, or maybe I am not ready to leave another crying child in nursery again. Maybe I am dreading the horrible feeling of Mummy guilt (I am actually have this feeling right now). However, I think the main reason is  because Alfie is my last child, this is my last maternity leave. I don’t feel ready for my life to resume as it was if this makes sense. Once I am back, I am kind of back forever.

I guess I am just mourning these early baby years already. Although I am definitely happy with my three and I mean it when I say my family is complete, I am still going to miss it. I am going to miss being at home all of the time,  I am going to miss these hazy blissful days just me and my clan, those afternoons on the couch snuggling my boy, the lazy morning walks chattering to him on the way home from the school run, having the whole day together to do as we please.

So as our life begins to change again I need to make a promise to myself that I wont get caught up in the routines and the upsets, I will concentrate and more importantly cherish the days I have with my little ones. I will remember how lucky I am that I am only working 3 days and not 5. I will remember how amazing these early years are and how I have had the opportunity to experience it three times. Three very wonderful but very different babies. 

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16 thoughts on “Life after Maternity leave

  1. What a lovely post and one I am sure so many can associate with. There are so many bittersweet firsts and lasts in parenting. I am expecting my second and know its my last, everyday I tell myself to cherish moments but sometimes that’s hard in the busy constancy of each day. Don’t feel mum guilt its not deserved at all! #sharingthebloglove x

  2. Oh I felt like this so much! Although we only have the one, it will probably be my only maternity leave too. So I know how you feel. But now that I’ve been back a year, I’m really happy with my work-life balance. I also work part time, and I’m lucky enough that I love my job, so that helps. I hope your return to work is smooth and you’ll also look back and think that everything has worked out ok. Thank you for linking this to #DreamTeam.

  3. I can’t believe that’s come round so quickly. I really hope the return goes smoothly and Alfie settles into nursery quickly. On the plus side, so many people have told me that starting them at nursery at around 9 months was much easier than doing it later, as it’s before the separation anxiety really sets in. It feels so different when you know it’s your last – I’m already feeling it with Ben! Thanks for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  4. Argh reading this has just sent a shiver down my spine as my maternity leave is coming to an end in the next month and I’m absolutely dreading the return to work. This is my first baby, so to be fair, I don’t know what to expect with nursery, but having spent almost a year with her, I’m so scared of leaving her with random people. I know so many people do it (and I’m working 3 days like you), but you don’t really give it much consideration until it’s actually happening to you! I hope all goes well for you 🙂 #dreamteam

  5. It can be hard to leave the little one and go back to work, but it’s a good thing that you have a shorter work week. Gives you more time to enjoy being with the kids. 🙂 #mg

  6. this post actually made me really emotional. I think like you having the two girls and then my precious boy it was hard accepting that all his first would be the last time I would be witnessing the baby stage as a mummy. I know it is a blessing that you only have to work 3 days but you are still entitled to feel how you are feeling and be sad about saying goodbye to that stage of your life. Sending love xx #mg

  7. That went quick Natalie! I’m sure he will be just fine and I agree it will probably do you both good. I think you have the right balance with work and being home. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove

  8. I’m very lucky – Gabe was two in August and I still haven’t gone back to work! I hope your return to work goes smoothly and you all settle into your new routine quickly x #SharingTheBlogLove

  9. Good luck with getting back in routine. It’s always very bittersweet when things change, especially when you know that it’s the last time. Hope you manage to settle back in and that Alfie settles in well at nursery x #bloggerclubuk

  10. It is such a difficult thing to change isn’t it when its all you know for now. Like you say I am sure it will do you good but it doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard, I hope it goes (went) well and he enjoyed nursery too x #sharingthebloglove

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