I think most people will have been ‘ghosted’ by someone at some point. How to deal with being Ghosted by a friend, a boyfriend, a family member can be really hard. If you are not familiar with the term ‘ghosted’ it generally means when someone you know stops communicating with you. They don’t talk to you, they stop answering your calls and they don’t return your texts. They quite simply cut you out. Being ghosted is horrible and when a friend ghosts you, a good friend that you loved and trusted for no apparent reason well then it is heartbreaking.
How to deal with being ghosted by a friend – my experience.
I was never expecting to be ghosted. I didn’t even really know what it meant. Being a Mum in my 30’s I have a circle of good friends and if I am being honest there is never any drama. We are grown ups, and whilst I appreciate people drift apart which many of my friendships have as I get older, I rarely fall out with friends.
This friend was a relatively new one. One of the school Mums I met when my eldest started school. Our younger children were similar age who went on to become friends, we both weren’t from the area we lived and I just really got on with her, we had this instant connection.
We seen each other most days, we text and we had nights out. We were best friends. Then one day we weren’t. Whilst we has definitely drifted apart (our younger children were in different years and I had another baby) and weren’t as close but would still have a chat and text. Then one day it stopped. She just stopped saying hello to me. I made excuses like maybe she didn’t see me or maybe she was just rushing. Although of course I knew deep down that it was more than that. However it wasn’t until I realised that my friend had blocked me on social media that she no longer wanted to be apart of my life.
How I felt when I was ghosted
I honestly felt heartbroken. I had obviously done something to upset her but I had no idea what. Being ghosted is embarrassing. Mainly because you have no idea why. I started to doubt myself as a human being. I am a bad person? Do I bring negativity? Am I not a good friend? Have I said something to offend her? Three years later I still have no idea.
Being ghosted is heart breaking, I felt like I had split up with a boyfriend. I couldn’t sleep, I cried a lot. She was my friend and I loved her. If we would have had an argument or a disagreement then I could understand why the friendship ended. Being ghosted by a friend, well you just never know why or what happened? There is no closure.
How to deal with being ghosted by a friend when you still have to see them
Seeing your friend on a daily basis when they have ghosted you is hard. You are filled with questions and anger but also love and nostalgia. You miss them. Seeing someone regularly that you had a friendship with makes it really hard to get over.
When I see her I feel anxious not knowing how to react. I went through a phase of ignoring her which I struggled with then I started saying hello, generally to be met with silence which would result in me feeling angry again.
Now how I deal with being ghosted by a friend is by going out of my way to avoid her. Of course I shouldn’t have to and I don’t have to. But it makes me feel better. I don’t feel the anxiety and I feel any anger. Most days now I don’t see her. She is obviously always there picking up her children, but I purposely don’t see her. I have an idea where she stands and I don’t look. Now I am in a place where she rarely enters my head.
Some days I miss her and we honestly had a couple of years good friendship, but now we don’t and I have finally come to terms with that.