Motherhood is tough…. isn’t it? It has took me almost 7 years and 3 children to finally pinpoint one of the main reasons it can be so hard at times. Of course there are many contributing factors such as lack of sleep, lack of money and the loneliness it can bring. However, I think the main reason why at times it can feel like such an uphill struggle is because it is constantly changing – all the time!
Think about it, you go to school and it is pretty constant for the majority of your childhood – the same routine, the same friends. Then you hit your twenties and get a job – a similar set up, you have the same friends, the same routine. Of course there is the odd change here and there. You may changes jobs, make new friends, go travelling – but overall life is constant, steady. You actually take it for granted.
Now I have children I feel like my life is constantly changing. Every year each milestone brings new changes, new friends, new routines. I struggle with this. I remember when Meme was born and my good friend had a baby 6 months earlier. We had a couple of years blissfully spending time with each other, raising our children, attending baby groups and becoming really close and then boom – her little boy started school. I felt lost. Of course, I still see my friend but we meet up every few months rather then every week. I have gone on to have more children whilst she hasn’t. Our lives are in different places now. That bond we once shared has gone, it’s a distant memory.
Life is now full of different friends at different times with a constant stream of different people flowing through my life. You make friends at baby groups who then return to work, you have play dates with people of a similar age to your children but then one of them starts school. You make friends with your child’s friends Mums but then they stop playing together. It’s pretty exhausting.
I am the stage now where I am finding my feet as a Mama of three, trying to ensure that I have some one on one time with all of them (which let me tell you is no easy feat!). Making sure that they feel secure and happy and that they know where they fit in our family. The same goes for my relationship with my husband – trying to make sure that we have some time together and our marriage doesn’t suffer. We are half way through the year and I am still trying to get to that place where we are all happy. Yet I am aware that my maternity leave ends in a few months and change will be upon us again.
There is no solution to this especially now my children are so young. Right now life will continue evolving no matter how much I try to resist it. I know I need to try and maybe just embrace this period, enjoy these new friends even if it is for only a short time. Enjoy my time with each child even though I know it will possibly have to stop again in a few months. Maybe I just need to learn to enjoy the moment.
Always remember, people change all the time-and you can’t control that. As long as you stick to who you are, knowing you’re doing what’s best for not only your children, but you as well, then whatever happens with “friends”, won’t matter as much.
I love this Natalie, I feel exactly the same. I struggle with change and yet with children, it’s constant. Just when you think you have mastered one stage of motherhood, another stage hits you like a tonne of bricks! You’re doing an amazing job, I think living in the moment is a really great way to live. Thank you for joining us at #sharingthebloglove
You are right about it always changing, one “phase” after another, you think you have cracked one problem and a new one starts up…it’s very hard #kcacols
This is so true Natalie. I’m experiencing exactly this with friends and I’m finding it really hard to keep friendships going when we are in such different places in our lives. I really want them to be a part of my life, but it’s not easy. The changes are constant and I really feel this, plus I don’t cope with it. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove
I struggle with this too. I often feel like the ground beneath me is never stable, I’m always looking for the next milestone hoping ‘things will settle down then’! #fortheloveofBLOG
I had the saem conversation with my husband recently it is forever changing and getting used to something new, enjoying the moment is definitely a good idea but also don’t beat yourself up if every one isn’t enjoyed, sometimes its nice to say its not fun! x #sharingthebloglove
yes! when the kiddos were smaller it was a challenge, you think you get it and then things change again. what works with one, doesn’t work with the other. I find now with them being 7 and 5 things have finally settled. or maybe it’s me 🙂 for the first time am in a country with family around me and it helps. luxury I didn’t have before.
Oh this post really resonates with me! Life changes so quickly when you have kids and you words about the constant flow of people coming into your life and then moving on is exactly my experience too. It’s a barrage of new experiences! Thank you for sharing this insight #sharingthebloglove
I’d never really thought about it like this before but I think you’re right. Everything is constantly changing when you have little children – you think you’ve got something sussed, or got used to a routine then it changes again. I guess when they’re all at school things might settle down for a bit…but not for long really! #SharingTheBlogLove
This is so true. Children hate change but we as adults hate change too! Having children means things are constantly changing and evolving – normally just as we think we’ve got it sussed! Thanks for linking up with #KCACOLS, hope to see you again next time.
Motherhood has suited my wife very well but I do worry about what will happen when they go to school. #kcacols
I feel the same about you re: motherhood constantly changing. My boys are 4 and 7 now and at the moment I seem to be having a bit of a tough time with my older one. He’s growing up and finding his feet in the world and I ‘m finding it hard to adjust! The like to keep us on our toes don’t they? #KCACOLS
I totally agree Natalie, I find it overwhelming too. From mothers group, to Aspen starting kinder and then school I was constantly having to meet new people whilst all along adjust from being mummy to newborn, then toddler and gosh now she is 13 and I am learning to be a mummy to a teenager who has just started high school. Plus of course like you with 3 I will continue going through this with all of them. All we can do is grow and change and find someway to cope with having barely any control over these changes. We’ll get there! Thanks for linking up with #mg so happy to have you here xx
PS this is my #blogcrush this week!
I feel so good when I get to meet new people. Be it Kiddo’s Day care or School. Cherish this time together before you move out. Mommy of 3 and giving one-on-one time to each must be a tough job. #mg
I’d say cherish every moment you have with your littlies they are your constants and grow up so fast. #mg
Yes this really rings true with me – life is constantly changing when you have little ones. And just when you feel like you’ve got a handle on things, they enter a new stage or phase and everything you thought you knew is turned on its head again. It’s tough and I guess, as a family, you need to try and be that “constant” for each other – that no matter what changes, you’re there for each other.
And congratulations because someone loved this post so much, they added it to the #blogcrush linky! Feel free to collect your “I’ve been featured” blog badge 🙂 #blogcrush
So true! And when you have multiple children of different ages it’s crazy mind boggling! Thanks for linking up! #fortheloveofBLOG