When you realise you’re just a number…

There are some things in life that go hand in hand – new born babies and sleepless nights, Fish and Chips, Night and Day etc.  Well, for me, it’s pregnancy and redundancy. I am on my third pregnancy and also my 3rd risk of redundancy.

Redundancy at any time of your life is just rubbish. It happens to a lot of people, some more than others. However, it can be soul destroying, it can feel embarrassing and I guess it just reminds us that we are just a number and, for me, who always likes to see the best in people and often wears rose tinted glasses, that makes me feel really sad.

I think sometimes we forget that we can just be replaced and it is such a bitter pill to swallow. When I work for someone I do it with all my heart – I fully throw myself into my job. I am not saying I am the best employee in the world I work around my children and, due to this, am not the most flexible and can be a little unorganised at times (I am thinking of my messy desk as I write this!) However, I am loyal, I work hard and I do what is expected of me and I do it well. I think most important of all I care and I suppose I expected to be cared about. But I guess when cuts need to be made and money needs to be saved, we are all just a digit on a spreadsheet which can be easily erased. There is no room for compassion, no thought of the person, the families we have to support – I guess it’s just business.

I realise this is just life, it happens all the time to people. It’s not personal and we have to just dust ourselves off and get back up again. I actually feel wiser now. The first time it happened to me it hurt, really hurt. It was at a time where I had just become a Mum and, if truth be told, I was a bit lost. I felt my job defined me and without it my self confidence plummeted. It took me a long time to get over it. I guess now I am older and more cynical, which in itself I hate. I miss that positive bright eyed girl who trusted everyone and took people at face value. I am more aware that people have agendas and money will generally always take precedent over anything else. It is what makes the world go around and I guess it is naive to think otherwise. I guess it just all makes me feel a little meh!

I don’t know what’s going to happen to my job, I guess at the moment I’m past caring a little. I feel battered and bruised from it all. I long to just go on maternity leave with nothing to worry about except the arrival of my new baby and I long to be able to return to a job that I know, that I’m good at and with colleagues that I love….we will see. I guess the whole process has left a bitter taste in my mouth and has maybe opened my eyes to my future.

Have you been affected by redundancy?

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18 thoughts on “When you realise you’re just a number…

  1. Oh I’m so sorry you’re going through this. What a horrible thing to happen whilst you’re pregnant. You’re so right though, it’s nothing personal it’s just a business decision but that doesn’t change the way it makes you feel. I hope things work out for the best for you – whether that means going back to this job or starting a new one.
    Nat.x

  2. Good luck with the job, redundancy is not something I ever faced and I’m not sure how I would have coped with it. I think an increase in cynasism is a normal side effect of growing older and experiencing more of the world. There is so much crap out there it can become hard not to think there must be a hidden agenda somewhere.
    #SharingtheBlogLove

  3. Oh this is so sad! I’m like you – I always take people at face value and really care about what I do. I can totally imagine how hard this must be 🙁 You’ve proved that you’re strong, though, because you’ve been through it before and come out the other side (not much consolation when the process is so heartless, I know). Keep going. I hope it all gets sorted for you soon #SharingTheBlogLove

  4. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. My husband was made redundant a few years back, it was a massive blow to us financially and came just after we had bought a house on mortgage and I was mid-maternity leave. We found our way through and I’m confident you will as well, whatever happens xx #sharingthebloglove

  5. I’m so sorry you’re experiencing this. I have never experienced redundancy myself but I can understand how horrible it must be. All you can do is look to the future especially with a baby on the way and remember how much happiness this will bring you. Try not to stress too much about what might happen with your job and stay positive. #ablogginggoodtime

    amina xx | http://www.aliandher.com

  6. My husband’s redundancy a few years ago was the catalyst for him setting up his own buisness – which turned out to be a lot of work but an excellent move in the long run. I hope you can put stress to one side and enjoy your new baby when they arrive. Best wishes #ablogginggoodtime

  7. I am so sorry this is happening to you, especially when you are pregnant. I have been through redundancy a lot! I have been put at risk so many times and its been horrible every time. Sadly its so common in businesses now and something that our generation have to deal with far too much. I hope it resolves itself soon so you can relax and enjoy your pregnancy. Thank you for joining us at #SharingtheBlogLove x

  8. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, especially during a time when you want as little stress as possible. I’ve been lucky not to go through redundancy, although most of my friends have at one point (or for the unlucky ones, many points). Please don’t think it’s a reflection on you, or your work – I’m sure you do a great job. I hope you get some good news soon and you can head off and enjoy your maternity leave. Thank you so much for joining us again at #SharingtheBlogLove

  9. It’s a horrible time when you should be thinking about much nicer things. I was ‘made redundant’ a year after my maternity leave ended. The food industry is ruthless in many companies, and they went through various deparments picking off people and then hitting our department, a very well thought of in the business and elsewhere in the industry. My 2 bosses, left just after me – I presume they knew what was coming and resigned, then the other 2 of my role left, leaving only 2 with very specific unique jobs. They have a totally new team now, and looking in supermarkets, they’ve not done a a great job at working with the retailers compared with what we were able to do when we were there.

    Hopefully it’ll be positive news for you. #sharingthebloglove

  10. so stressful and the last thing you need to worry about right now honey. My hubby was made redundant right before we were due to settle on our home and sign the home loan it was so stressful we were scared we would loose our home and the deposit! Luckily an old colleague stepped in and offered him a job, it is less money and things are tight, but at least we got our home. Take care beautiful xoxox #mg

  11. Oh Natalie, I’m so sorry to hear this, what awful timing with you being pregnant too! That’s one stress you really don’t need. I have never been affected by redundancy but I know many who have and they have been left in such a financial mess, it’s heartbreaking to see them struggle especially those who have worked so hard for their career. I hope that something comes up that is the right thing for you and your family. #mg

  12. Brilliantly written Natalie. I am so sorry that you have to go through this. It must be such a worry.
    I am like you… I think everyone is lovely and kind. That life is all rosy and then the shock usually comes!
    I haven’t been made redundant but was refused part time work at my last job when I requested it. I had no choice but to leave. I was replaced by a younger teacher who was working full time for the same salary they would have had to paid me for three days. It made sense for them but it did hurt!! What made it worse was that about 5 months later another colleague made the same request and theirs was granted.
    I hope it all works out for you lovely. xx

  13. I broke up with my ex on Wednesday, found out i was pregnant thursday and got told i was being made redundant friday… it sucks and that was a really crap week.
    However, you never know where it may lead and I am generally a lot happier than I was
    Thanks for linking to #ablogginggoodtime

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