Sensitive souls

Being sensitive

There is one characteristic that I really dislike about myself but its something I can’t change. I’m sensitive. I hate it – I cry easily from reading an emotional blog post to watching a sad film to simply being over tired. Not only that, I also cry when I am angry – I want to shout and scream but it just ends in tears. I seem to care more about what people think more so than ever, a passing comment from someone can play on my mind for days. I guess I just really feel things. I wear my heart on my sleeve. When I love someone I love them completely and deeply, if someone hurts me then it takes me a long time to forgive them.

Growing up I always thought if I could change one thing it would be this.

Meme is just like me. She is like a delicate flower but, instead of embracing this, I find myself getting cross. Just last weekend we took a trip to Southport, it was a hot day and so, like any seaside resort, it was really busy. There was a park there and my girls ran to it excited. Whilst playing on the slide there were boys being a little cheeky, running up the slide the wrong way and not letting people go down it, which caused in all kind of tears from Meme. Also when crossing a bridge, an other boy told her to move out the way – well, this was all it took and she was in tears and wanted to go. I was furious with her, I don’t want her to be letting children make her cry over silly things, I want her to be able to stand up for herself and, in true Natalie style, I could feel my voice break as I shouted at her – typical I was starting to cry as I shouted at her for crying.

I knew I had overreacted and, as I spoke to my husband that night he said ‘Nat, she is just like us – sensitive’ that word again. I don’t want her to be sensitive, I feel like this word has plagued me all my life. I want her to be brave and confident and stick up for herself, I don’t want her to get upset so easily and worry about what other people think, I want her to be different to me. I want her to reach for the stars and not let anything hold her back.

But she is who she is and I love her for it. She is caring, loving and simply lovely. I need to instead of trying to change her, accept her and realise being sensitive isn’t a weakness. I want her to grow up seeing her sensitivity as a positive attribute.

Do you see being sensitive as a weakness?

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54 thoughts on “Being sensitive

  1. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive. If anything, I think being sensitive makes you more empathetic towards others and often a more thoughtful, caring person on the whole. It’s definitely not a negative in my eyes. #BloggersClubUK 🙂

  2. I am really sensitive also. I have had to stop watching the news because it was making me so upset. I have always been jealous of people who could watch a film and say “oh that was sad”, and then get on with the rest of their lives – I’d be mulling it all over for days, if not weeks!

    I am trying to retrain myself to see my sensitivity in a positive way. I know that I can be a lot more empathetic to others, and that I pick up on details that other people miss. But it is hard work and sometimes feels like such a burden. So from one sensitive mummy to another – be strong! #BloggerClubUK

  3. I’ve found I’ve become more sensitive as I’ve got older – I’d never cried at a film until I was about 17 and it’s been a slow increase ever since then! I think there are positives though; I’m certainly more empathetic than I was, and I also don’t come across as distant and standoffish which was something I was always told when I was younger. I do wish there was more of a happy medium though. x #thetruthabout

  4. Being sensitive isn’t easy on the one hand I guess. You show your heart right on your face. It’s hard not to cry when you talk about something important. I’m sensitive myself & my kids are too. I cry at shows & blog posts. I don’t like any violence either. I think being sensitive makes you more empathetic with others & more in tune with your own & others feelings which I think is a gift. It’s wonderful that you accept & encourage your daughter for who she is. Thanks so much for sharing with us at #BloggerClubUK x

  5. Reading this reminded me of how I was feeling about my six year old the other day on the school run. Not that he is especially sensitive or anything but just the fact that I am a bit of an introvert and haven’t managed to make a connection with any of the other school mums from his class (I do have friends from other classes!) and he is a bit the same – he doesn’t think of himself having any friends in his class and he seems to watch on some mornings as big groups of others interact with one another. I don’t want my lack of confidence as a person to rub off on him – I really want him to be self-assured and happy in his own skin but it is hard not to feel that our nature and actions don’t rub off on them isn’t it? As for sensitivity – well I totally agree that it’s a fantastic trait to have deep feelings – hopefully that will develop into emotional intelligence and empathy as your daughter grows. Thanks so much for linking up to this week’s #thetruthabout Natalie!

    1. It’s so true – they do copy us don’t they. I am sure he will find his feet soon and sometimes I think it worry us more than them if that makes sense! Thank you lovely x

  6. Our world can be a tough place, but I really believe sensitivity is a gift. My daughter is also very sensitive and I found a book called The Highly Sensitive Child really helpful. 20% of children are actually born highly sensitive and the author of this book made me understand it in a way that I began to see the positive side. #BloggerClubUK

  7. Gosh, this has been a bit of a lightbulb moment read for me! I’m definitely what you would call sensitive, and undoubtedly Max is too (which at his current age often manifests itself in anger). But for some reason I’ve always put my sensitivity down to things I’ve experienced in life, rather than just being the way I am. Although I try to be sympathetic to Max’s emotions and his needs, I also struggle sometimes with his sensitivity, mainly because I so don’t want him to be – deep down I want him to be an outgoing, confident child – basically everything I’m not. But of course he’s likely to be like me and my husband – he’s made of the same stuff we are, after all. Really interesting and thought provoking read.

    1. Its hard isn’t it – and I worry the same but I think the comments from this post has made me realise that maybe we need to cut ourselves some slack. All we can do is try and guide our little ones to be brave strong and confident. Thank you for your comment lovely x

  8. Oh my word I could of wrote this post even down to crying as I tell her off for crying. In my case, it’s my youngest, recently it has caused her a lot of heartache and I feel really guilty for having passed it on. It is difficult for me because the eldest just rises above it like her dad. I need to do the same and learn to accept it as a positive attribute. A great post Natalie xxx

  9. I’m sensitive although I think secretly so. I feel it makes me more empathetic and I think about how others would view or react to something. It does hold me back sometimes and I know I take things to heart too readily but I think it’s a honourable trait. It’s hard to teach a person to be more assertive but I think with time and reassurance it might help- if not, you know you’ve got a very thoughtful child in any case. 🙂 #marvmondays

  10. I am too. I find that I cry rather than express myself, even when I am angry! It just comes out. But being sensitive is such a lovely quality because it means you care and have a lovely heart. Don’t worry she will find her own way and work out how to deal with situations. She sounds very lovely xx

  11. I don’t think there is anything wrong with being sensitive, it shows that we are in touch with our emotions and that we care. The world needs more sensitive people, I think 🙂 Don’t be too hard on yourself. Big hugs #marvmondays

  12. Ugh, I know exactly what you mean! I am SO sensitive, probably not ideal as my OH is the total opposite so offends me at every turn haha. Being pregnant is making me especially emotional too, ahh. Thanks for linking to #MarvMondays. Kaye xo

  13. I can relate to this. You nail it with your reflection that you are frustrated that your daughter is showing the same traits you fear in yourself.

    Sensitivity in itself isn’t a weakness but being overly sensitive can be limiting. With someone so small part of it is calibrating that level. You still want her to feel but maybe not quite as deeply.

    With any weakness part of it is learning to harness it in a way that allows positives. It’s also being kind to yourself, confidence takes time to build and it sounds like it’s something you’re working on together as she grows and learns.

    #StayClassyMama

  14. It’s absolutely not weak to be sensitive and cry. I think this sort of response is more typically (but not exclusively) female and this is why it has got the reputation as being a weak response. But in reality, it losing control, shouting and banging any less weak?!

    I think sensitive emotional responses make people uncomfortable because it shows them how they have hurt you and they don’t know how to deal with that. When you react angrily, they are more justified in getting angry or defensive back. But crying is a raw and honest emotion which people don’t know how to deal with.

    I say embrace your emotions as much as you can and slowly the world will hopefully change. If you show your daughter they are nothing to be ashamed of then I’m sure she’ll still grow to be a strong and confident young lady!

  15. I have always been quite sensitive, but weirdly I have become less so since having my son. Although it’s still early days as he’s not quite two, he does not appear to be sensitive at all! I definitely felt I was to sensitive when I was a kid, BUT there are advantages to it as well. For example, I still refuse to watch violent films and TV shows as they upset me too much, and I think this is from having an overdose of empathy, which is a good quality to have, and to be honest I find it a bit disturbing that so many people enjoy watching violence. To me, that seems a bit bloodthirsty and unpleasant! So I think there are advantages and disadvantages to being sensitive, as with anything. #fortheloveofBLOG

  16. oh wow i could have written this! My eldest is so sensitive and i get annoyed with her all the time (she’s just like The Hub) Im so scared about what school will hold for her next year but i’m preying pre school will help! Great post! #fortheloveofBLOG

  17. It’s a tough one, isn’t it?! I blogged a while back about how the things that bother me the most about my kids are the things that I do myself, so I can empathise with you here. I often cringe at things my kids say and do the things I say and do.
    I don’t think being sensitive is a bad thing, though it can make life more difficult… #fortheloveofblog

  18. Oh lovely I can relate to all of this – I am sensitive and often get upset over things and have always seen it as a weakness in myself. My other half, however, always tell me that it isn’t, but shows that I care about things. I know how you feel though, it’s something I wouldn’t want for my daughter either but th fact you are so self aware of it, will help her a lot as she gets older xx #fortheloveofBLOG

  19. I didn’t know you lived in my neck of the woods! I lived in Southport most of my life. Anyway I think when we see what we perceive as faults in our children, its natural that it annoys us because we are seeing our own (perceived) weaknesses. It hits a nerve I guess. I’m the same. I cant argue with anyone because I burst into tears. Its actually embarrassing! Thanks for sharing on #fortheloveofBLOG

  20. Our culture doesn’t value sensitivity yet we as sensitive people (I am one of them) have so much to bring to the world. We understand, listen and pick up on things that others don’t notice. Like you I tried to be less sensitive but actually now I have found that embracing it is the best course of action. Sometimes it is our own judgements on being sensitive that cause more of the problem than being sensitive. Great post and topic. #mg

  21. Being sensitive is a wonderful thing. The world is a better place when we are responsive because it shows we care. Maybe a bit too much… 🙂 Hugs. How are you doing? Sending you love #mg

  22. I was a sensitive Kid and still expect the same Love and care from others as I do. This makes the things difficult for me. We as Parents doesn’t want our limitations to pass onto Kids but they are our by-products.You see. Nice post. #mg

  23. We visited a play park yesterday where a couple of boys were climbing up the ladder despite the sin on the side saying they shouldn’t. You could see there mother annoyed with them and telling them off but they didn’t listen. My eldest daughter was not put off by them but I can see how things could have been different. #mg

  24. I relate to this post so much! I am the same and so is Aspen and it breaks my heart knowing what she will go through because I went through it, being sensitive is hard, we are so hard on ourselves and I don’t want that for her.

    I often find the things we dislike about ourselves we want to spare our children from that pain.

    The thing is I have learned to understand that me being sensitive is part of what makes me the beautiful person I am, it is why so many people love being around me, because I care, because i am loving and supportive and kind. Yes that could be seen as weak, but as long as I don’t let others take advantage then it is my strength. It helps me write, it helps me be a great friend, it may be my curse but it is also my gift! So now I teach my daughter that it is her strength and her gift!

    Much love xx #mg

  25. No. Anxiety and sensitivity are ways people show they care.
    Plus you are role modelling so she has learnt from you. Caring is never a negative and it will take her far, just top up on Kleenex 🙂 #marvmondays

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