I am struggling with pregnancy. This is my 3rd pregnancy and I feel like I should have a special badge – ‘professional’ – ‘done this before – twice!’. My body has already experienced this change. It should be easy. These are the crazy thoughts that run through my head and maybe other people’s heads. The 1st pregnancy is scary, the unknown, not knowing what to expect. The 2nd pregnancy was being pregnant whilst still trying to juggle one child. I expected to know it all by the third.
Being Pregnant – The reality
How wrong was I? I think a bit like child birth I guess, we are programmed to forget. Forget how hard being pregnant can actually be. I am only 16 weeks in with hopefully a long healthy road ahead but I’m exhausted, I have no energy whatsoever. I have to set my alarm clock every day for 2.30pm to wake me in time for the school run just in case I nod off (I never do – I have a 3 year old to care for). You forget how pregnancy can really take its toll.
Somedays I feel cross with my myself, with my body. This is my last pregnancy and I want to enjoy it, I want to embrace this time of my life. I want to take pictures and write blog posts celebrating my growing bump. To look back on this time with fondness. I never felt this with my first 2 pregnancies and I’m worried I wont with this one.
Pregnancy After Loss
Maybe I expect too much, I have been pregnant every month this year – 7 months. My body is tired and, although I am so happy to be expecting, it still feels twinged with sadness. Pregnancy after loss it hard. I should be 8 months pregnant, planning and excited for next months big arrival. I’m not sure if this is what is making me so grumpy and irritable. I’m not sure why but I can’t seem to get over my miscarriage. I want to move on and be happy that we have got a second chance to have our rainbow baby.
I’m feeling frustrated. I have had two babies already. There should be no surprise that my clothes aren’t fitting. I should’t be so grumpy that I need a constant supply of food, Appreciate that I will be be tired – I’m building a baby. I should understand that every single hardship is worth every single second once my baby is placed in my arms. The thing is I just don’t like being pregnant. I want to. Oh how I wish I did. It is embarrassing that I don’t. There are women who would love to be in my position.
However I think now, with my third child, I need to admit that whilst I love my children and I can’t wait for the birth of my 3rd baby. I don’t enjoy pregnancy. The sickness, the hormones, the exhaustion…and that’s ok.
Are you struggling with pregnancy?