Blended families come in all shapes and sizes, and they’re typically formed when two families join together with a child or children from previous marriages or relationships.
Coming to terms with this new dynamic can be challenging, particularly at first and especially if a parent has recently been through a separation or is getting a divorce. Adapting to the situation often requires a lot of effort, commitment and understanding from all sides.
Dealing with a range of issues and emotions from family members can be overwhelming. We’ll guide you through various ways to navigate some of the common challenges.
Open communication
Communication is key in any family but it’s especially important in blended families where tensions might arise more frequently. It can take time for family members to get used to a new situation and it’s vital that everyone feels like they’re able to express their feelings in an open and honest way.
Create a safe place for younger family members to talk about their feelings and emotions and to raise any issues they might have. Make sure you don’t disregard their feelings just because they’re children or teenagers. A good way to do this is to schedule family meetings and make a point of striving for compromise on issues that not everyone agrees on.
Embrace acceptance
If you’re in the early days of a new family dynamic, emotions can run high as everyone tries to find their place in family. Try and accept that there might be feelings of anxiety, jealousy, resentment or sadness, depending on the situation.
It can be especially difficult if a previous break-up or divorce wasn’t amicable or if a family have been through loss and a grieving process. In situations like this you might also want to consider seeking help from a specialist child law solicitors who can provide expert advice and understanding around your unique family situation.
Allow children to form bonds with a stepparent or siblings in their own time without forcing them to interact.
Living arrangements
Challenges can arise over shared spaces so make sure you help children feel safe and secure by recognising their needs. For example, children might be opposed to sharing a bedroom with siblings if they’ve never had to do this before. Try and designate family areas while providing a personal space for children to retreat to.
Set boundaries and rules
Finally, it’s important to establish clear boundaries with every child in the household and avoid favouritism. Ensure everyone has an equal say in family decisions and foster consistency right from the start to help develop a sense of routine and security.
It’s common to find that your parenting style differs to that of your partner and, if this is the case, try and communicate openly about discipline and responsibilities.
While it’s often difficult when blending families, being honest, calm and open to compromise can help you overcome many of the challenges. If you find the situation becomes too overwhelming and you ‘re struggling to cope, you might want to think about professional counselling for you or your family members.
This is a collaboration post