Over a year ago I wrote a post about some blogging goals – I was 8 months pregnant with my Alfie and I was discussing my blogging plans for the forthcoming months. Now I knew 2017 wasn’t going to be much of a blogging year, my new baby was always my priority and I wanted to soak up those glorious baby days as much as possible.
Truthfully, now I’m sitting with my baby who is currently 10 months, I am so happy I did, it has been the fastest year ever and, whilst I could continue to write about where has the time gone, I won’t, that’s for another post.
However, what I didn’t realise is that I would completely lose my passion and love for this little space of mine. The last 6 months I have been struggling to feel inspired by my blog. I have just lost my love for writing and some days it has become more of a chore. I have tried to shrug this feel off hoping it will fade away, hoping a fire will be reignited somehow and, after a little break in the summer (and after reading some inspiring reads), I thought it was – I felt motivated and made all these plans to re-brand and reconnect but, a couple of weeks later, it was gone again.
I’m at a loss. I don’t want to stop writing but sometimes I ponder what am I doing it for? I thought the dream was to put myself out there and maybe, just maybe, this blog could be more than a hobby. Now, I’m not sure if this is what I want at all.
I recently spoke to a good friend about how demotivated I was feeling, how I’m worried that my blog is getting cluttered up with posts that aren’t right for me. Her question back was doesn’t the money motivate me? I thought about it but no it doesn’t. Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice that I can treat the children more and buy nice things but it doesn’t make me feel excited or make me feel passionate about my blog.
I have no answers at the moment and I am hoping this is a phase, albeit a long one. I’m planning a little break over Christmas and hopefully that will be just what I need. I want to be inspired, I want to open up my laptop again and let the words flow out. I want to open an email about a potential collaboration and feel excited. I want my mind to be buzzing with ideas and plans.
I feel so stuck at the moment and I don’t know how to break free but, eventually, hope I do.