The second born child

The second born child

I always feel a little bit sorry for my second born child Harriet. Since she has been born she been rushed around from pillar to post to accommodate Meme’s busy social life. When Meme was younger, me and my husband would spend many an hour sitting in our car letting Meme have a nap but, with Harri, she hasn’t had the luxury, she gets taken out of the car straight away asleep or not – we don’t have that spare time anymore.

Life as a Second born child

I remember Meme used to sleep in until about 8.30 when she was younger. Poor Harri is woken at 7am and is fed and dressed in a rush to allow Meme to get to school on time. She is dropped off at Nanas when Meme has a party. Lots of her clothes are Meme’s hand me downs, she barely went to a baby group when she was little. Only this weekend she had to sit through a 3 hour dance show so we could see Meme dance ….the list goes on… sometimes it just doesn’t seem fair!

It is not that we love her any less or that she isn’t important – she is. My second born child Harri holds such a special place in my heart she is my baby. I guess we just don’t have the time like we used to now we are a family of four.  Life is a constant  juggle trying to fit everything in.

I am always conscious of the second born child – more particularly the middle child. Being the second born of three and I do always remember feeling a little bit unsure of myself.

I wasn’t the eldest reaching all those milestones first but I wasn’t the baby of the family lapping up those extra snuggles. My Dad gets cross when I say this but I do think middle child syndrome exists (not through any fault of theirs it is just how I felt at times) and, whilst this does not apply to Harri, I am conscious that being the second born she still feels as important as Meme and has the same opportunities. As a parent, just because we have done it before doesn’t mean that it isn’t just as special second time around.

Since Meme started school I have finally had some Mummy and Harri time which we have both really enjoyed. I feel like our relationship has gotten much stronger. It has definitely highlighted the importance of one on one time with both my girls. I also realise there are benefits to having an older sibling. Harri has grown up with a playmate, someone who is always ready to play with her. She has had an endless amount of toys from the day she was born and, let’s not forget, she also has much more laid back chilled out parents (instead of the neurotic crazy parents we were with Meme).

I know it wont be this way forever. We will be running her around after her before we know it, celebrating her dance shows, taking her to friends parties. I know that my Harri’s time will come…..

2nd born child

12 thoughts on “The second born child

  1. I have 3, two girls and the youngest is a boy. I can completely sympathise! The second and third definitely have to ‘fit in’ around everything going on. Now mine are a bit older (10, 7 & 5) it is a bit easier to spread the love more evenly!! Though I still feel my boy missed out a bit on all the toddler groups etc as I just didn’t have the time with all the school and preschool drop-offs, collections and clubs! xx #BloggerClubUK

  2. Oh bless her, I’m so glad to have read this, I feel exactly the same. It’s just not possible to treat both children the same is it? At the moment I’m missing out on time with my eldest because of family circumstances. I see her every day but don’t get much quality time with her and I miss her.

  3. My friend is a middle child and she would agree it is a strange role within the family. I have 2 girls and feel the same, everything is around my eldests life. She starts school in September and I hope then I can have quality time with my youngest X

  4. I know what you mean, my second has finally got me all to himself, but it’s been a long time coming. I love the time I have with him now and like to think that as I learnt from all the mistakes I made with #1, he gets perfect Mummy time (haha!)

  5. We have only just had our first, she is four months old and we haven’t thought much about number 2 if we have another one. I was the middle of 3 girls, and i used to always have to find my voice. xx

    thamks for linking with #stayclassy

  6. This is the life story of every second born child. It’s the same in my house too. The first born gets catered to & their nap schedule is followed so carefully because there’s no one else to take care of. Babies 2 & beyond are put onto the family routine & they have to go with it catching naps when they can. My daughter is our third child & she napped whenever she got the chance lol I think it makes the second & third borns more easy going though! Thanks so much for linking up with us at #BloggerClubUK x

  7. Aw I do always feel bad for the second child, but like you said, they do get those extra snuggles. I was the first child and I remember my brother being a bit jealous when we were younger! My Mom truly showed him that she loved us equally though which seemed to help. : ) I think you are doing a fantastic job and you shouldn’t feel guilty about Harri! Like you said, she will have her time where you will be taking her to her own dance classes and parties ; ). Thanks so much for sharing with #StayClassy!

  8. Oh I really know how you feel as I my youngest girl also had to fit in but it does change – however, I’m always more aware of how she may be feeling compared to her sister so I must think she needs more attention subconsciously – not easy to get it right sometimes is it? But the fact that you have time together whilst Meme is at school is really special x #PickNMix

  9. If feel the same about my youngest too, she’s 2 and I only started taking her toddler group three weeks before schools broke up for summer, my first went every week from 6 months old and is still friends with all the children he played with there. The youngest hasn’t even had the opportunity to make any friends yet. The same with the lie-ins (although the school holidays helped with that one). At the same time I’m very conscious of my oldest feeling left out as I seem to spend all my time looking after the younger one. It’s definitely a juggling act!
    #Picknmix #BloggerClubUK

  10. This is so true. I feel this for my second son, who is now a middle child. My eldest has additional needs so in many ways my middle child is the ‘oldest’ though without the benefits of actually being so. He’s my helper and my little rock at times but I can’t help feeling guilty that this is the case at times!

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